Slytherin Outcast
by jello2009
Summary: When I came to Hogwarts I was expecting alot, but I never expected this would happen to me. At least I have the Marauders to back me up though, they can protect me from the bad guys
1. Disowned

I posted this on harrypotterfanfiction a while ago. anyways I wrote this a long time ago and I like it so I thought I could post it here, too. Enjoy.

My sister and I had an interesting relationship. We were close but we weren't at the same time. Annabel was popular and beautiful, the worst combination. I was smart and average. I wasn't special like she was, not even close, but now I'm not sure if I know her. You see she kind of disowned me...

Growing up it was just me and her, our parents were Aurors and worked a lot. When I was 10 and Annabel was 11 the world ended, at least it seemed like it did. Our mother gave us the bad news that our father had been murdered by a bad wizard. Neither of us completely understood but we knew enough to be sad. Annabel went off to Hogwarts not long after. She still felt sad but put on a smile to make people think she was happy. Personally I was glad I had another year before I went. I don't think I could have been strong enough.

When my mother got the letter from Annabel telling her she got into Hufflepuff she was overjoyed. When I asked why she told me both her and my father had been in that house. I wondered which one I'd end up in, at the time I was hoping it wouldn't be Hufflepuff, so I could have some time to myself for once. She came back that next summer changed, my mother thought it was for the better. Apparently Hogwarts changed you but why I wonder.

I got my letter that summer and the next thing I knew it was all about Hogwarts, either getting the books or hearing stories about it. "It's amazing, you'll love it Marie," Annabel said with a dreamy look on her face. I thought she was in love with the place.

When my mother Apparated us to the train station and said goodbye I almost cried. I was nervous but Annabel assured me everything would be fine, just fine. It didn't help when she told me how we got to Platform 9 3/4. I thought it sounded crazy. "You just walk through the wall, it's nothing to be afraid of." I was shaking so bad when I ran toward the wall and was surprised to find the train on the other side. Annabel just smiled and told me to follow her. I did until we found an empty compartment on the train. On the way there I started to read over my class books again, I had already done that at least twice because I wanted to know what was going on ahead of time. I liked knowing this because I knew what to expect. I guess you could say I was a nerd in that sense.

When the train got to Hogwarts I went with the rest of the first years. Soon after arriving at the castle we were to be sorted into our houses. I was sure I'd be in Hufflepuff. Annabel assured me I would be. My mother was counting on it. How I wish I hadn't disappointed her...

First walking into the great hall and seeing it made my mouth drop in amazement. It was amazing, just like the rest of the castle. All the second through seventh years looked at us small first years with curiosity. They were probably looking us over to determine if we were worthy to be in their houses. Their staring made me even more nervous, I hardly realized what was happening when someone called my name.

"William, Marie."

Rather clumsily I walked over to the chair where everyone else had sat. A hat was placed on my head. What happened next would forever change my life. The hat yelled out, "SLYTHERIN!" A table at the far corner starting clapping but I barely heard it. I got up and found Annabel's face, it was unreadable and it scared me. Numbly I sat down at my table not taking my eyes off her. After a minute she looked down. Was it shame? Disappointment? I wasn't sure. I didn't want to know.

It was obvious I didn't fit in Slytherin. They started talking about dark magic and a dark lord. The only evil in my life was my father's death. I didn't want to know anymore. Weren't these the people my mother fought? What was I doing here with them?

I took in barely anything that night. All the names were gone in minutes, all there were was faces. None of them mattered to me and never would. I knew right away I'd be an outcast, so did they. That's why they didn't talk to or try to get to know me. I wasn't important. Not to them anyways.

I didn't talk to Annabel until the next day. I saw that look on her face again. I must have done something bad to deserve this. She just looked at me sadly and hugged me tightly, whispering kind words. She didn't speak of my crime until a later day. At one point we got in a big fight about me. She told me I'd be someone our mother would have to kill someday. I told her that was a lie, I'd never sink that low. She just walked away and I fell against the wall and cried. 4 boys came by at some point asked if I was ok. They would someday be my best friends and be known as The Marauder's. They were Gryffindors and pranksters. They were my hide away from the bad, they made me laugh when I was down. My hero's. Don't ask me how Gryffindor's befriended a Slytherin, those houses were kind of enemies, I do not know how. It was fate I think. Things were never the same between my sister and me though. Sadly that also effected my relationship with my mother.

Over the years I grew to trust those boys, their names were Sirius, Remus, James and Peter. Sirius had a family a lot like mine and had his own fan club, apparently he was "sexy". Remus was a lot like me, he liked books and was pretty smart. One good thing about him was her was able to be serious when the time called for it, unlike the rest of them. James liked to have fun, he didn't much like school, he liked playing pranks better. Oh yeah and there was Lily, the girl he one day married. He was kind of obsessed with her but maybe in a more cute way. He was pretty good at Quiddich. Now Peter, he was...how would you describe dearest Peter? Different for sure. He sometimes was more shy. All of them enjoyed pranks, especially on a certain person in my house, Severus Snape. They always had something planned, I helped of course, so they had detention a lot. They skipped class, sneaked into the kitchen for food and knew secret paths around Hogwarts. They were quite crafty.


	2. Good Times

sorry so short...

Now where does this story really start you ask? Let's start at the beginning of my 6th year.

I ran into the train after yet another awkward goodbye and found my best friends in a compartment in the back. When I opened the door I threw my stuff on the ground and tried to catch my breathe. I was a little out of shape. I heard the boys laughing at me so I gave them an evil glare.

"Long run Marie?" James asked with a grin on his face.

"Shut up Prongs," I said trying to sound mad.

"Have a seat, we got a good prank to plan," Sirius said in the most serious voice. I laughed and sat next to Remus. I looked at the book he was reading and he smiled at me, I smiled back.

"Alright I was thinking…" Sirius continued.

So another year begins. Another prank. Good times.

James, Sirius, Peter, Remus and I all sat in the room of requirements til around midnight laughing at our funny stories from summer. It was always fun to catch up, especially since I hadn't seen them for about a week now. It wasn't as if we didn't get together over the summer, my mother was just being stupid about me going anywhere. She hated me, all because I wasn't a precise Hufflepuff. Kinda like it was with Sirius and his family.

"Do you think I could manage to get a detention everyday this year?" James asked. We all laughed.

"Of course!" Remus said smiling. James smiled proudly and pulled out his snitch. He always played with it and was probably thinking of some prank to play.

"Can you believe we're already back? That was a quick summer," I say absent mindedly.

"You can say that again!" Peter said.

"It seems like just yesterday we were playing Quiddich in James' backyard," Remus said.

"And you got hit with the bludger," Sirius said trying to contain laughter.

"And you fell off your broom because Peter ran into you," Remus said smugly.

"And I beat Marie to the snitch," James said.

"And then I got you back by beating you in chess."

We all started to laugh again.

"Good times," Peter said quietly. I yawned and giggled when I saw Sirius yawn too.

"God yawning is contagious!" He said annoyed.

"I think I'm going to head to bed, kinda tired," Remus said and got up. We all said goodnight and everyone started to leave. Another unspoken agreement of course. When I got to my dorm I found everyone asleep. I smiled to myself and crawled into bed, before I knew it I fell asleep.

I woke up to the Slytherin girls getting ready for the first day of class. I groaned loudly. They were always so annoying in the mornings.

"Can't you just sleep late for once?" I asked annoyed.I heard someone laugh of course. They didn't care. I wouldn't expect anything more. Knowing I couldn't go back to sleep now I got up and lazily threw on some clothes and brushed my hair. I never put on makeup.I walked down to the great hall and, as always, I found Peter already eating. I took a seat next to him and mumbled hello. He laughed."Hello Marie. Slytherin girls being annoying as usual?""I wouldn't expect them not to be," I say, smiling slightly.


	3. Schedules and such

"I think everyone is heading down or maybe still sleeping."

"I'm guessing they're sleeping. Late night and everything must have tired them."

"True."

We both started to laugh when they came in 10 minutes later, they all looked quite tired.

"Long night?" I asked sarcastically.

"You could say that," Sirius said, grabbing a cinnamon roll and sat down next to me. James and Remus followed.

"We should go to the kitchen tonight. We could probably get some fire whiskey," James said with a mysterious smile. We all agreed. How better to spend our second day of school?

We got our schedules when everyone returned to their commons room. I got out of there right away to find my friends. I really hoped we had some classes together. I found them right outside the Gryffindor common room. I walked up to them and Sirius stole my schedules. I just smiled.

"Well it looks as if we have some classes together. What a drag," He said smiling.

"Yeah whatever."

Remus looked at me with a puzzled look.

"You're taking potions? Why? I thought you hated that class," He asked.

"I need it to become an auror, right?"

James laughed.

"Who would have thought a Slyterin would become an auror?" He said looking amused.

"Well that's good," Remus said, ignoring him.

"James you're an idiot," Sirius said. Peter just laughed quietly. We talking about our classes until we had to start going to our first classes of the day. I had potions with Remus and James, I suspected James only took it because Lily Evans was. When we got to the dungeon I saw Lily's red hair and James instantly went over to her. She sighed loudly and I laughed in amusement. He never gave up did he?

"He is so funny, I mean she obviously doesn't like him," Remus said as we took our seats.

"He's determined."

"No!" He said sarcastically. I just smiled but it quickly faded when Annabel walked in, hand in hand with her boyfriend. I shrinked back in my seat.

"Ignore her," Remus whispered. It didn't help, I felt tears start to form.

The whole break it was bonding time for my mother and Annabel. I was just the outsider looking in. Annabel talked about her boyfriend, friends, classes and I couldn't get a word in. I never could. At least not in the past few years. Every night I didn't talk to my friends I cried myself to sleep. The days I spent with them though I couldn't stop smiling. We played Quiddich at James' house, ate at Remus' and at Peter's we planned pranks. We stayed away from my house for an obvious reason and Sirius, well he ran away from home and is now living with James. My friends sent me to a happy place and that happy place ended when my mother or sister would make some smart remark. Was it normal to get such misery from your family? We use to be so close but now I'm so far away. Just the thought of it makes me sad.

I looked over at Annabel and for a second she looked at me. I almost saw sadness in her eyes, but why? There is no reason for her to be sad, she has the perfect life. The bitch.

"Marie?" I faintly heard Remus say. I turned toward him.

"Huh?" He didn't say anything, instead he leaned forward and wiped away the few tears that managed to fall. I closed my eyes and leaned against him, he put his arm around me gently.

"I miss them so much…" I whispered.

"I know but don't have a break down your first day of class."

"I'm sorry," I said and pulled away. I looked forward, trying to ignore my sisters stare. I knew she was looking at me, she always did when this happened.

"Lily is being stubborn," James said while taking a seat behind us. Obviously he missed the break down, he always seems to do that. It's like a sixth sense or something.

"That's because she doesn't' like you Prongs," I told him.

"I can fix that," He said, probably smiling smugly. That was a typical James thing to do when it came to this. Our teacher walked in a minute late. Just another Potions class…


	4. Celebrating A New Year

That day came and went quickly. At the end I was tired and had homework in almost all my classes. James and Sirius wanted to put off their homework, as always, so me, Peter and Remus all went to the library. We had a table we always sat at that was kind of hidden by the book shelves and it was in the back so no one usually bothered us (unless Sirius or James was there but that's besides the point) It was just perfect for us. Tonight we sat in silence with only the sound of our writing. I was halfway through my vampire essay when Remus passed me a note. I gave him an evil glare, he just had to interrupt me. I read the note anyways, figuring maybe it was important.

(this is where the author gets lazy. R means Remus, M means Marie)

R - hey, it's to quiet!

M - then scream at the top of your lungs and wake everyone up

R - no, to tired, the firewhiskey will wake me up

M - oh yeah I almost forgot about that

R - you would!

M - shhh I hate you

R - I love you too

M - liar

R - no I'm telling the truth...anyways I think we should play a prank on James and Sirius

M - yes, that would be awsome!

R - what should we do?

M - I don't know right now, essay to write! leave me alone for a while

I gave him the note and got back to my essay. I looked up for a minute and saw Remus giving me a lost puppy look.

"Stop it," I said quietly and ignoring him for another half an hour.

By 10 p.m. I had finished almost everything.

"James already went to the kitchen," Remus said suddenly.

"How..." I start to say but I notice he has the two way mirror with him.

"Ok"

"Should we go then?" Peter asked. Remus nodded and we went to The Room Of Requirements. That was a room we always went to, you just had to walk past it, thinking of what you wanted and then it appeared. It came in handy.

James and Sirius were already sitting on the couch, firewhiskey in hand.

"The elfs are so nice," James said, slightly slurring his words. He obviously was drunk already.I just smiled and said

" Give me that bottle Prongs," and grabbed it from his hands. He hardly noticed this but he looked up at me blankly. I laughed inside. Sirius gave Remus his half empty bottle and we sat around and drank for what seemed like hours. At some point we wondered the halls, hexing anything that jumped out at us, which would probably be everything.

I woke up on the couchin a common's room, I wasn't sure which one until Lily Evans and another Gryffindor came from their dorms. They looked startled at the sight of me.

"Aren't you in Slytherin? Why are you here?" Lily asked, looking at me as if I was an alien or something. I just shrugged because I had no idea how I got here. What happened last night?

"Oh God my head," someone said from the floor. We all jumped, I really don't knowwhy I jumped, maybe it's because I had a hangover.It was Sirius. He and everyone else was laying on the ground. How did I get the couch?

"You guys got drunk last night, didn't you?" The Gryffindor girl asked, raising her eyebrow. She obviously was a more straight kind of person, probably rich as well by the looks of her.James started to laugh at this and I couldn't help myself. We all were laughing. The girl looked a little scared and Lily just shook her head.

"God you idiots! Why get drunk the second day of school? How are you expected to study and do your work with a hang over?" She said angrily.

"It's no big deal Evans!" James said annoied. He usually didn't talk to her like that but I suppose the hang over contributed to this outburst.

"Don't talk to me Potter!" She said and stormed out. The girl ran after her, after standing there for a minute dumbly.

"Well that was interesting," Remus said smiling.

"I should go to my own common room and get my books. How did I end up here anyways?" I asked curiously. No one knew so they just gave me blank stares. I laughed at them and got up.

"See you in a while Williams," James said.

"That's cotton to you Prongs, you know that."

"Yeah well.." Is all he said. He was probably to out of it to say much.When I walked out of the Gryffindor common room some Gryffindor's gave me funny looks. I suppose it would look weird if a Gryffindor was in the Slytherin common's room, not that the Marauders haven't done that before


	5. Cotton

This is a little short I know

"Wait we had homework?" I whispered to Sirius. He laughed. I honestly do not recall there being any in Charms.

"It's ok, I didn't do it either, It was a busy night the day we got it," He whispered and winked. I just shook my head. Oh yes I remember that night, it was great.

"You know it's true Cotton."

"Yeah yeah Padfoot. Whatever you say."

For a moment he looked deep in thought and then he said, "That reminds me, there's a full moon in a week."

"Oh really? That's interesting." He nodded in agreement with a slight glow to him. For good reason of course, full moons are always fun.

During my free hour I took a nap, even though I had homework. I curled up into a ball on my bed and subconsciously turned into a cat, my animagi form.

Yes I am an illegal animagi. I have been since last year. So has James, Sirius and Peter. We worked on it for 3 years and finally got it our fifth year. The only reason we did it was for Remus. You see he was bitten by a werewolf at a young age and after that every full moon he'd transform. No one knew until second year but we suspected something when we noticed him missing once a month. As humans we couldn't be around him when he was transformed but as animals we could. James is a stag, Sirius is a dog, Peter is a rat and, like I said, I'm a cat.

When I was 8 my mother bought me a cat. It was this big white fluffy one and I named her Cottonball. She was the best pet I ever had. She was friendly and rarely got mad. She'd cuddle with you all day if you pet her. Unfortunately she died a year before I went to Hogwarts. I still have a soft spot for her to this day. That's where I got my nickname Cotton, or Cottonball if I'm in a bad mood. The only people who call me that are the Marauders. (if anyone else did it'd feel weird) I told them about her and it just kind of stuck as my nickname. That was my cat form, a white fluffy cat. I loved it.

After what seemed like only a minute I woke up to someone petting me. I purred loudly and someone laughed. I looked up and saw a Slytherin girl. I believe her name was Rebecca.

"Ah you are the cutest cat," She said. This was probably the nicest she's ever been to me. She picked me up and hugged me tightly. I didn't like this one bit so I bite her and ran away. When I got to the hallway I turned back to my human form and smiled smugly. Silly silly Slytherin. I can only imagine what she'd say if she knew the truth.


	6. Saint Annabel?

Classes were in full swing, homework and all. I got use to my daily route and my late nights with the Marauders. It has always been a tradition to sneak off to The Room Of Requirements since fourth year. Sometimes we drank and sometimes we just talked. Either way it was nice.

I had managed to avoid Annabel as much as possible and haven't had any break downs but Remus kept his watchful eyes on me just in case. I was grateful for him really but at times it was to much. "I'm fine Moony!" I'd tell me over and over again but he knew me. He knew it'd happen one of these days. I was hoping it'd be later rather than sooner. They always made me so tired. Every once in a while though I'd catch her looking at me during meals. I pointedly ignored it. She could stare all she wants, just as long as she doesn't try to talk to me I'll be fine.

I have even managed to avoid getting a lot of detentions so far this year. James has already failed his goal of getting detention every day, we were all a little disappointed when he told us. We got over it though. I've only gotten five detentions so far, mostly for being late for class. That seemed to be a bad habit of mine. The other reason I got detention because a potion kind of went wrong and it might have exploded…it wasn't fair that I got detention though! I mean it wasn't my fault…entirely. I was partnered up with someone from Hufflepuff and they screwed me up. Mostly because I was mad because they were saying shit it me. I swear Annabel has turned every Hufflepuff against me. I have no idea how she could do that though.

Oh did I mention the full moon? Well that was a fun night, kind of. Sirius and Remus started fighting and Remus was in the hospital wing for two days.

Anyways it's been a month and a half since school started by now and nothing to eventful has happened thus far. Next weekend there's going to be a Hogsmeade visit. The Marauders and I usually hang out together. Well all of us but Sirius of course because he usually has a date. You know he's just 'that hot'. James usually chases after Lily of course and we all usually meet at Zonko's. That's the joke shop in the village. It helps with the pranks and all that fun stuff. Remus and I usually like to go to the book store, while Peter doesn't really have a preference. The book store has almost any book you'd want to read and has a nice environment. I could sit in there for hours and it would seem like only a few minutes. If you took James and Sirius in there they'd get impatience and leave within five minutes but Peter just goes with the flow. He doesn't mind the books but he's not a book worm like Remus and I are. I suppose that could be a good or bad thing.

The homework that week was about normal. If Christmas break was coming they'd usually let up on the work but some teachers think it's better to have more during that time of the year. I think they enjoy torturing us, seeing us suffer must give them great joy. Hmmm…maybe it'd be fun to be a teacher.

Anyways enough random talk, moving on. Well something interesting happened Wednesday. I was walking to my common's room when this Hufflepuff boy came up to me. I instantly thought he'd insult me, just as Annabel trained them all to do, but this one smiled and said hello as if it was normal. I eyed him carefully and when he didn't stop smiling I spoke up.

"What do you want?"

"You're not very friendly, are you?"

"Yes I am but when someone like you just starts talking to me I get suspicious. What does Annabel want? Why did she put you up to this?" I demanded. He laughed.

"We all don't live under the control of Saint Annabel. Besides I like you, you don't seem all that bad to me. You hardly seem like you'd be in Slytherin."

I smiled slight.

"Saint Annabel?"

"It's a Hufflepuff inside joke," He said, grinning.

"Hmmm sounds interesting. Anyways what was your original purpose of talking to me?"

"Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone?" He looked nervous and I almost laughed out loud. Now I'm sure she put him up to it.

"Are you serious?" He nodded.

"What's your name?" He said it was Justin. Justin, how common. This was so strange that I had to stop to think.

"Are you…" He started to say.

"Look Justin I'm sorry but I already have plans. I always hang out with my friends and it's just kind of a tradition." And I really don't trust you. I wanted to say that at least.

"Ok. I'm sorry to bother you." He was flushed when he left. I was intrigued by this. What did he really want? Or did he honestly want to go to Hogsmeade with me? I finally decided it wasn't important and forgot about it.

The next day, though, James brought it up. He said heard some guys talking and they were laughing about it. I just blushed. I did not want to remember that.

"That's great. Did you almost laugh in his face?" He asked.

"Almost," I admitted.

"If it were me I would have done it just for the fun of it," Sirius told us.

"Well of course Padfoot. It's always fun to do that. Not that I've had many chances," James said, looking wistful.

This Justin kid was the topic of everyone's conversation for a few days and then promptly forgotten. Just like that. It's amazing how that just happens.


	7. Just A Dream

Hogsmeade came up quickly. Sirius had his usual date and James went back to stalking Lily. This time Peter followed him so Remus and I could go to our book store. We started at Fantasy today. Those tended to be my personal favorite. I wasn't to much into Romances or Mysteries. What can I say I liked make-believe stories. Remus picked up a muggle book called _Dracula._

"Is that good?" I asked him curiously.

"Yeah, I checked it out from the library last year. It's pretty cool, I think you'd like it."

"What's it about?"

"Vampires."

I smiled. I loved any book about vampires.

"I like it already," I told him and he smiled.

We looked at the books until noon when we met Peter and James at Three Broomsticks. We bet them there so we bought the butterbeers for all of us and found a table. We just sipped on our drinks and stared at each other for a few minutes, not saying a word, until Sirius came out of nowhere.

"Hi guys," He said grinning, with a girl hanging on him of course. She didn't look familiar, maybe she was a Ravenclaw.

"Having a good time?" I asked him.

"We are," The girl said, glowing. She obviously liked Sirius a lot. I smiled at them and made small talk until she urged him away. He smiled at me and winked. God he was so predicable. They're probably going to the Shrieking Shack to snog. I returned to my drink and noticed Remus staring at me. I stared back, seeing every aspect of his eyes. I almost forgot how to breathe but looked away quickly. He shouldn't effect me like this. He couldn't but he did. This was Remus, one of my best friends since First year. The same guy that has been there for me ever since Annabel abandoned me. Nothing more…I think.

I was walking back to my dorm after a rather boring detention. The reason I was there might have been something involving Snape and a spell that caused him to hang from the ceiling. Oh and a paralyzing spell might have been involved. The Marauders helped of course but we were separated for the detention. I got stuck doing the trophies again. The teacher's must know I hate that.

I was almost there when something touched my arm. I couldn't help it, I screamed. James and Sirius came from under James' invisible cloak laughing.

"Oh my God I hate you!" I said loudly.

"We couldn't help it, it seemed too temping," James' said grinning.

"Plus the look on your face was priceless," Sirius offered.

"I hate you," I glared at them.

"No, you love us. How was cleaning the trophies?" Sirius asked casually.

"Fine,"

"We had to wash the floors of the Great Hall. Now that was fun." James' said.

"Let me guess, you sneaked in some magic to make it go faster?" They smiled innocently.

"Where did Remus end up?"

"Who knows."

"I'm glad we got the Great Hall though."

"Yes I know Prongs, you love it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm tired."

"You mean you won't be joining us tonight?" James' asked looking hurt.

"Sorry. Goodnight, don't have to much fun," I told them. When I got to my dorm I was so relieved. Sleep sounded so nice at that point. As soon as I laid down I felt sleep take over me. Ah yes bring on the dreams I won't remember tomorrow.

But I did remember one dream, which surprised me because I never remember my dreams. In such dream there was a man looking out into the sunset. I ran up to him and slipped my hand into his. He turned toward me, smiling. His face was blurred so I wasn't sure who it was, but apparently we knew each other because next thing I know he leaned down to kiss me. What a kiss it was, too. When we pulled way from each other I got a good look at his face. I knew that face…oh God it was Remus.

It was just a dream, right? It didn't mean anything. It's not as if it was some weird fantasy type dream. Not that I'd fantasize about him. I mean come on he's one of my best friends! That's wrong. Why am I doing this to myself? But I wonder, if we'd ever kiss that is, if it'd as great as the dream. That was amazing, I will not deny it but I won't tell anyone either. It's not exactly on my need-to-know list. In fact let's just drop this now and forget it ever happened? I think that sounds just perfect! Besides I don't kiss and tell, not even it is a dream.

Whether I wanted to admit it or not it did affect me and I couldn't forget it. I found it easier not to think of it by not looking him in his face. Yes I was avoiding him, I did feel bad though. I didn't want to hurt him. I loved him. Oh great now everything I say will be twisted in my head. I did not love him in that way!

Remus caught on though. He was not dumb. In fact he was one of the smartest people I knew. What really surprised me though was the rest of them seemed to notice. Peter kept giving me this look as if he was trying to figure something out and Sirius and James asked in their not so subtle way if something was wrong. What could I say that would make any sense? So I answered by staying silence.

He cornered me after a few days. I just happened to be in a hall close to The Room Of Requirements so he led me there in a almost forceful way. I just took a seat on the couch and stared at him wide eyes.


	8. Temptations

He cornered me after a few days. I just happened to be in a hall close to The Room Of Requirements so he led me there in a almost forceful way. I just took a seat on the couch and stared at him wide eyes.

"Is there something I need to know?" He asked, he obviously wasn't in the mood for small talk. I just shook my head and looked down.

"It doesn't seem that way, I'm not stupid you know."

"I know," I said quietly.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

I figured I could avoid this somehow so I started to play with my hands. I must have tuned him out because next thing I know he says, "Are you listening to me?" In an annoyed voice. I looked up at me guiltily. He didn't deserve to be treated like this, he's been nothing but kind to me.

"I'm sorry Moony, I'm a horrible person."

His face softened and he stepped closer to me. I felt his hands grab mine but I didn't look to see.

"No, you're not Marie. You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

I felt like crying. He was so forgiving.

"Why do you love me, Remus? I don't deserve you. I never did."

He looked at me sadly. I felt tears fill up in my eyes. This was definitely a first. In all the time that I have known him he has never made me cry. He stepped even closer and caught a tear that escaped. I was suddenly aware of how close he was, if I leaned only a little I'd be able to kiss him. At this thought I found myself doing so.

He was gone so fast I was to stunned to do anything for a moment. My eyes found him a few feet away, looking at me strangely. Oh God what did I just do?

"I'm sorry Remy…I wasn't thinking."

"Yeah."

"I…"

"Please don't say anything. It's not your fault."

"It's not?

"I have to go to class, see ya around," and he was gone. What just happened?

I did a lot of thinking, mostly thinking I was a horrible persona and was very very stupid. Didn't I just say I didn't love him like that? Why am I trying to kiss him all of a sudden? Stupid stupid Marie.

When dinner came around I sat down right next to him and whispered, "Let's just forget about it, k?"

He looked thoughtful for a second and then whispered back, "Who said I didn't want it though?"

I stared at him wide-eyed.

"I just mean it didn't feel right."

"What do you mean by 'right'?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Just…never mind. You're not going to ignore me again, are you?" He asked playfully. I shook my head, still puzzled. What did he mean?

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," I said, coolly. I tried not to blush and I think I managed not to.

"Right," He said unconvinced. When he thought I wasn't looking he winked at Remus and mouth something I didn't catch. Remus just smiled back. I did not understand these boys.


	9. Moonlight Serenade

I think you'll like this chapter…

Remus and I have always been pretty affectionate. What I mean by that is we hug a lot and there's always the holding hand thing when not a lot of people are around or I need to talk. It's always been that way for whatever reason and it's never changed. Not even now. I was surprised because if anything he was more touchy feely. I didn't mind but I wasn't about to tell him this. I already screwed up by…well you know the story.

Anyways it was just another night at the library. Sirius and James' were messing around and it seemed I was the only one motivated to do my work. Everyone else was distracted.

"Hey, remember when Sirius had pink hair?" Remus asked me suddenly. I do not remember, I do not recall.

"What?"

"Remember the first month of school…the prank?" Oh that prank! The one Remus and I did on Sirius and James. That was a good time.

"Oh that."

"How could you forget?"

"Sorry it slipped my mind."

"That was great and James' was bright green."

"Uh huh."

"Cotton you're being boring. Talk."

"Homework to get done," and then he pulled it away from under my pen. I looked up at him. He looked as if he was up to something.

"Yes Moony, you have my attention."

"How easy that is," He smiled and leaned close to my ear, "Could we go for a walk?"

"Sure," I said quietly. His lips lingered for a second and then he pulled away with a smile. He got up without a word and I followed. We ended up outside by the tree at the lake. It was so pretty at night, especially when the moon was out. Looking at it I realized it was almost a full moon.

I looked over at Remus, studying his face. He was looking back at me but I didn't look away. He moved closer, so close he could touch me. He touched my face and tilted it toward his. He leaned closer, his lips were so close and my heart was pounding.

It seemed to take forever for his lips to meet mine and when they did it was pure ecstasy. I forgot about time and everything else and focused on his lips. The kiss was gentle and kind and one of the best things I've experienced. My hands took a life of their own and wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss.

All to soon he pulled away.

"We should get back," He said, not looking at me and removed my arms. I stared at him surprised. Was I that bad?

"Moony…"

"Let's just go," He cut me off.

"But…"

At that he got up and left me all alone. I gaped at him as he disappeared from my sight. Tears started to pore from my eyes. Why did he keep pushing me away? I thought…no never mind what I thought. It doesn't matter and it's probably not right. But why would he kiss me if he didn't like me? Can he explain that one?


	10. Hello Mr KissandDisappear

I walked back into the castle in tears. No one was around so I didn't have to cover them up. That is until I saw Lily Evans.

"Marie Williams what…are you ok?" She asked kindly when she saw my face.

"What do you care? I don't think you've even talked to me before."

"Yes I have."

"Oh? Name one time." She stayed silent.

"Ok fair enough but I have seen you around and I think you need some girl friends. All you have are the Marauders, right?" I only nodded. The tears were threatening to come again.

"Did something happen?"

"Maybe," I admitted.

"Want to talk about it? I'm sure the Marauders wouldn't be the right people to talk to because I'm thinking it may involve one of them?"

"How…"

"Remus, He came in a few minutes ago. He looked pretty bad, too," She explained. I then decided I'd talk to her, hey maybe she'll help.

"He kissed me and just left. I…love him and…"

"Yes I've noticed how you two are. Maybe he was confused?" I gave her a curious look.

"You've been friends for 6 years, right? So switching from friends to more may be a little hard to handle. Even if he did love you that way, he may not want to admit it."

"Oh God you're probably right! But then why did he kiss me?"

"Maybe he does love you. I wouldn't be surprised, Marie, because honestly every time he looks at you it's so cute. It's filled with so much adoration. A lot of people are surprised you're still just friends."

"James loves you like that, don't even call it stalking, ok?"

"That's not the point right now. I think you should give him his space, he'll come around."

"You think?"

"I'm sure," She said with a huge smile.We talked for a while and then headed back to our dorms. I was smiling, she made me feel a lot better. Maybe tomorrow will be bright after all. What surprised me though was that this was Lily Evans. Lily Evans! I mean she's been known to be stuck up but I didn't see that at all.What will tomorrow bring?

The next day I left my common room to go to breakfast only to find Remus hanging around the corner. He was waiting for me. Typical Remus.

"Hey," He said in a quiet voice, not sure what to expect.

"Hello Mr. Kiss-and-Disappear, sorry to disappoint you but I'm leaving now," I said before I could stop myself. No Lily said not to do this.

"I deserved that but I'm an idiot and I wasn't planning to do that," He said somehow ending up looking adorable.

"Which part?" I raised my eyebrow. This could go either way. He better not say the kiss, then I'd really be pissed.

"The running away part of course. I really…wanted to kiss you but then I got all scared. I mean you've been my friend for 6 years and suddenly I'm kissing you. It doesn't make any sense but when I was it felt so good. It made me think you could be more…"

"I understand, I was feeling confused for a while and then I just accepted it, you know?"He smiled at me.

"Maybe if you give it a little time?" I offered. I couldn't push this but I really wanted him. Oh wow here I am admitting the truth, ask me a month ago and I would have denied it all.

"Yes, give me time and I'll come around, I swear."I smiled and said something else without thinking.

"I love you, Remus."He took me into his arms and I wrapped my hands around his waist, holding on tight. He leaned his head against the top of my head and sighed into my hair. I just closed my eyes, taking him in. Gently he rubbed my hair and kissed my hair. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He had this peaceful kind of smile on his face. This made me smile and feel at ease.

"Hmmm we should go somewhere else," He said in a whisper.

"Why?""We're in the middle of a hall,"

I burst out laughing and agreed with him. Rather reluctantly we pulled away from each other but he kept my hand. We walked to breakfast together and talked about nothing really important until I asked about the full moon. He didn't look so good right now, It had to be soon.

"It's tonight. Sirius has detention so it will be just you, James and Peter."

"Alright."We looked at each other again and we just stared into each others eyes for who knows how long. I couldn't breathe and the world was starting to spin.


	11. Breakfast conversation and the full moon

We looked at each other again and we just stared into each others eyes for who knows how long. I couldn't breathe and the world was starting to spin.Then Lily's familiar voice woke me up.

"Hey Marie."I broke contact right away and took a deep breathe. There I felt better.

"Hey Lily," My voice sounded shy. I wasn't use to her talking to me yet.

"I see you took my advice," She had a smile on her face, as if she knew what I was thinking.

"Not entirely but yeah I did."

"Lily since when do you talk to Cotton?" Remus asked curiously.

"Last night," We said at the same time. We smiled at each other and laughed. Remus looked amused."I just figured she needed a girlfriend and she looked like she needed a friend." I caught her shot a glance at Remus. He blushed crimson.

"I said I was sorry…"

"You should be glad she's so forgiving."

"Yeah, I am." He smiled a sweet smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Ah I love you, Moony," I said, taking his hand into mine.

"I love you too, Cottonball." I hit him with my free hand.

"You know it's just plain Cotton."

"I know." Oh he was just teasing me. Of course.I rolled my eyes and looked back at Lily. I saw her mouth 'Stop flirting'. Flirting? I wasn't flirting, was I? If I was I did all the time I guess…

"You know I always thought Cotton did not fit with the Marauders at all. I mean the name, not the person."

"It's an inside joke." I told her.

"You'd think it was silly."

"Although it is pretty funny."

"You wouldn't expect Cotton here to be so soft."We started to "flirt" again. Although I hardly saw it as that.

"Guys I know that's a habit of yours but please include me," Lily said, amused. We both stopped talking."You know you two were always my favorite Marauders."

"Did you just include me in the Marauders?" I asked, shocked. I've never really considered myself part of them actually. I wasn't as tricky as they were.

"Cotton you've been our friend even before we were the Marauders', of course you are," He squeezed my hand in reassurance.

"Ya know there's no secrets between the Marauders'" He told Lily.I snorted and said, "Except "guy stuff"."

"Hey you have secrets, too!"

"Only recently.""No, I mean your "girl stuff"."

"Excuse me, do you want to hear about my period?" Lily burst out laughing. She's understand this. Guys don't want to know about that.

"No but…"

"Exactly."

"Well…Sirius and James don't have to know some stuff," He said changing the subject.

"You mean such as moonlight desires?" I offered. He gave me a meaningful look and kept my eyes to his when he offered something else.

"And confessions in the dark."

"And almost kisses."He looked dazed for a second.

"You're doing it again guys, stop it or I'll leave," Lily said annoyed.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"If you ever did get together I think you'd be the type of couple that makes people sick."I giggled.

"Lily you know far to much," Remus observed.

"I know, I can keep a secret though."

"Evans!" James' loud voice suddenly said. He looked excited to see her talking to us. Sirius and Peter followed him, looking tired. She sighed loudly and got up, giving us a sincere looked before leaving.

"Lily wait, I want to ask you something…"

"She's right you know," Remus whispered to me.

"About…"

"We would make a cute couple."My breathe caught. His eyes were filled with…was it joy? Excitement?…Love?

After breakfast I dragged Remus to his dorm so he could rest. I skipped class that day so I could stay with him. For a while we talked and then he fell asleep. I crawled under the blankets and laid next to him, just staring at him, thinking of everything Lily has said in the last 24 hours.

"Marie," It was a whisper but I didn't want to wake up. I crawled deeper into the bed, even closer to whatever was next to me.

"Marie Williams!" It said louder.

"Wha…" I said groggily.

"Wake up," It whispered into my ear.

"No, that's ok." It tickled me.

"Ok fine, I'm up!" I said and opened my eyes. Remus was right there, smiling.

"You fell asleep," He informed me.

"No way," I said sarcastically.

"And you were talking in your sleep." At this I blushed. I only did that when I'm sleeping really deeply. My sister use to make fun of me for it.

"Did my sleep talking wake you?" I asked.

"No, Sirius woke me up. I didn't want to wake you because you looked so cute but we have to leave soon."

"Hmmm," I said and sat up. His eyes followed me."Were you comfortable?""Yes, I like your bed." I smiled."I'm glad."I pushed the covers off me and looked at him. He had an content look on his face. I stared at him for I don't know how long but his eyes eventually met mine.

Later that night I was running through the forest in my cat form chasing after Remus and James. It was hard to keep up but I kept running and running.I woke up in the Slytherin common room. Every part of me ached. It was so painful. I wanted to scream but I knew even if anyone heard it here they wouldn't care. I just laid there for hours until I felt someone touch me. I found Sirius looking at me with a pained expression.

"Are you ok?" He asked. I tried to move but it hurt to much. I let out a moan of pain.

"I'm going to take you to the hospital wing." I tried to speak but he stopped me. He supported me as he walked me there. An hour later I was feeling much better. I was given a potion that helped, now I could feel no pain. Sirius and James were joking with me since Remus was still asleep. Full Moons really took a toll on him.

A week later he was back to normal.


	12. Lily

Short chapter but oh well, haven't a lot of them been?

By now people were getting excited for Christmas It was in less than a month. James and Sirius were getting excited for James' New Years party. Me on the other hand only had Christmas at Hogwarts to look forward to. I haven't had a real Christmas for years. I longed to have one with my family around to hug and tell me "how much I've grown". None of the Marauders' fully understood this. Sirius had James' family to do this while I had nothing but them. The only thing I enjoyed about Christmas break was how empty the castle was and James' New Years party this year. I had half hoped James and Sirius would stay but they had to "help mum get ready for the party". I think they just wanted to get away from Hogwarts. I believe Peter was going home and I hadn't heard anything about Remus.

Another Hogsmeade visit was coming up, just before the break of course. Lily and I were talking about going together. James heard about this and was overjoyed. When I told her this she muttered something like "immature idiot". I laughed. I have grown to like Lily and become less shy around her. She really was amazing and very smart. I could see why James liked her so much.The last "girl friend' I've had was Annabel and you know how that turned out. It was nice to have a girl around, It really was because boys could be useless on some subjects. Well most of them anyways. Remus tried and failed on some, like do you recall the period discussion? He understood feelings though but Lily seemed to understand everything. I swear she was a genius. We would have long discussions when I was suppose to met the Marauders but I'd lose track of time. They forgave me most of the time. This one time Sirius was joking around and he said, "what have you replaced your best friend?" No I'd never do that, I told him but Lily and I were like two peas in a pod. It was amazing how quickly we connected.

It reminded me of my first year at Hogwarts.She was the type to dread Christmas, mostly because of her "horrible sister" was there. She surely did sound horrible but I could relate. Speaking of, Annabel had been throwing me a couple of questioning looks. I ignored them I knew what she wanted to say so why wasn't she brave enough to stay it? The word coward comes to mind. She has seemed pretty miserable actually. I've noticed her boyfriend hasn't constantly been hanging on her also. Had they broken up? That would explain a few things. She seemed…empty. This is coming from the girl who saw her cry over losing her favorite teddy bear when she was 8. I knew what she looked like when she was sad or mad. I just knew, don't ask me how. Call it a sixth sense if you will. Sometimes it was more a feeling though. Annabel had mastered the fake smile after dad died but I'd recognize it from a mile away. I saw it everyday, in the hall or during class it was there.

Lily and I had an interesting conversation about this. I told her about her emotions and how she showed them. I even accident let it slip that I caught her cutting herself once. Annabel made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone. That was my fourth year, I'm not sure If she ever did it again. Lily thinks that the stress of being "the perfect daughter" finally caught up with her. I agree but maybe she was just that depressed or it could have been for attention. Either way it's messed up.I have the impression Lily's the type to want to fix everything because she suggested I try to talk to Annabel. I gave her the very stupid rely of "What? You mean with actual words?"

We don't talk much but I think we've said a lot through looks. I've gotten the if-looks-could-kill kind of look plenty of times, that's how I know she hates me. Personally I give her the dead, emotionless look to show I don't care. She's gotten the hint. Lily laughed at this and asked, "How else would you communicate?" I didn't tell her, she's only laugh more.You see she cared about other people's well being and she thought if my sister and I just talked everything would be better. If we talked we'd yell and I'd probably say something I'd regret. She's try to play the innocent role of course, she was a pro at that, always trying to make people take her side or feel sorry for her. My mother is pretty selfish also. Anyways it'd be a disaster. I had a feeling we'd never make up. The absence of her presence in my life proved to make it difficult for me to judge if this would be good or not. We never finished this conversation sadly. Lily realized the time and we had to rush to class.

James saw my relationship with Lily as a possibility. He thought after she warmed up to me she could do the same for him. Surprisingly I think he was right. I didn't believe it at first but I noticed she chose to stay around when he showed up. She even smiled at him once. James was in the clouds for days. We rarely talked about James but when we did there was a certain glow to her. I am not lying. One day I asked if she liked him, she said no right away and then blushed. Then I knew she did. She told me she didn't want to go out with him because he'd get a even bigger head. I laughed for about 5 minutes after that. I know James and knew this was completely true.


	13. Samantha

Short chapter but oh well, haven't a lot of them been?

"Lily, love?" Remus asked one night when I was hanging out in the Gryffindor common room. I was going to talk to the Marauders but Lily came in claiming "she had to tell me something before she busted".

"Yes, Remus?" She asked politely.

"Can I steal Marie for a while?" He gave her his lost puppy look. It took all my strength not to say "ahh you're so cute."

"Yeah sure," She got up and sat by James. I am not kidding you. I looked as if they were talking civily too.

"Remus did you see that?" I asked him, looking amazed.

"Yes, but I don't care and don't even think of getting involved." He knew me to well. I sat back. Remus sat down next to me.

"We never talk anymore," He accused.

"Yes we do, we are now."

"I think it's not fair that you replaced your best friends for Lily."

"I have not replaced you!"

"So how have you been?" He asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Fine," I answered coldly.

"Look Marie I've been thinking…"

"Has your head when hurting then?" I joked.

"No. Remember when…"

"What are you talking about? Your confusing me."He looked at me thoughtfully and took my hand. Only then did I realize how much I've missed him. He looked away quickly. It looked as if he was struggling to get the right words. I squeezed his hand to tell him to go on.

"Remember…" He said in the same tone as the rest of this conversation and then he lowered his voice, "Remember moonlight desires?"

"How could I forget?" I said just as low.

"Well I said I needed time and…" Suddenly James pulled him away

"Remus we're late for detention."

"Oh ok." He gave me a long look that could only mean "we'll talk later" and then he was gone. I was in a daze. Did he mean he was ready for…more?

The look on everyone's faces was astonished. James Potter and Lily Evans walked hand in hand in the Great Hall. After years of rejection James had finally gotten Lily and she didn't even tell me.

"It was a little spur of the moment. I didn't even realize what I said until about half a minute later," Lily explained in the library the next day.

"When did it happen?"

"Yesterday morning."

"Lily this is huge, are you feeling excited? Happy?"

"A little of both. He said he loved me and for once I believed it."

"I am so happy for you!'"Now you and Remus just have together."I smiled, remembering that night. I haven't had a chance to ask him what he was going to say yet and it's been 3 days.

"What's that smile for?" I only shrugged.

"Did he say something?" She asked excited.

"Almost but James' interrupted."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"It…" She didn't let me finish.

"It did not slip your mind. It's been on your mind for days. I can't believe I didn't notice! I guess I've been to preoccupied with James." I only nodded. She was right. She was always right.

"Hello ladies," Sirius said. I almost jumped. I did not hear him come.

"Sirius," Lily said bored.

"Lily," He said in the same tone. Lily smiled.

"What are you doing in the library?" I asked.

"Girlfriend dragged me. I got bored so I came over to bug you. Where's James?"

"Wait are you serious? You let your girlfriend drag you here?" I asked, amazed.

"Yes, I am Sirius, Cotton, haven't you known me long enough to realize that?" I just shook my head. He always did that.

"James is at detention, again," Lily told Sirius.

"No surprise there but a surprise is that Cotton here hasn't gotten one this week."

"Lily has kept me in line," I told him. She laughed. It was the truth though.

"She's not going to tame James also, is she?" Sirius eyed her suspiciously.

"As if I could tame that."

"But you still love him," I said, smirking. Lily sighed.

"Yes I do."

"Sirius are you ready to go?" A girls voice asked. Why did it sound familiar? The girl walked up to us. She was a Hufflepuff, I would know that face anywhere. It was one of Annabel's friends. When she saw me she smirked."Oh hello Marie. How's your boyfriend?" Her voice annoyed me, it was unnaturally high.

"What boyfriend? I wasn't aware I had one," I said, trying to sound confident.

"Ya know…Moony."

"You do not get to call him that! To people like you it's just Remus." I was angry. She had no right.

"So he is your boyfriend?"

"No."

"Then why are you defending him?" I threw Sirius a glare and got up. I left the library and wandered around the halls.Why would Sirius go out with that? Samantha was a stuck up snob that thought she was better than everyone else. She went through boyfriends like they were candy or something. From what I heard she slept with them and dumped them not long later.My God she was perfect for Sirius! He didn't want a serious relationship and this was perfect. Of course he went for her but still she's Annabel's friend! He's bound to encounter her, let's hope I'm not around. It could get pretty ugly.

Annabel was staring at me the whole time at dinner. I even stared back but she didn't avert her eyes. She knew something, didn't she? Something was going to happen but what?


	14. Sweet Revenge

James is happy, the happiest I've ever seen him. He has this glow to him every time Lily is even in sight. It's cute really. They are practically inseparable. I only get to talk to Lily half as much as I use to but that's ok because I did kind of miss the Marauders. Especially Remus. We have yet to finish our conversation because we haven't had much chance to be alone. The one time we were Sirius came in, mumbling something about "that fucking whore". It had to be Samantha.

"You ok Padfoot?" Remus asked. This set Sirius off. He yelled about how she dumped him, he wouldn't give a reason as to why she did. He kept going on about her being a whore and a bitch. I was a little scared. He never did this. Especially when a girlfriend was involved.

When he was done he said he was going to bed. He walked up to his dorm and me and Remus just looked at each other.

"What just happened?" I asked, confused.

"I have no idea, I'm going to try to talk to him. I'll see you tomorrow," He said and followed Sirius. I sat there for a minute and then got up. Outside the portrait I found James and Lily making out. I just shook my head and smiled.Remus later told me Sirius wouldn't tell him anything. He seemed almost embarrassed. True he had always been the dumpee but It still didn't make any sense.

She was laughing at Sirius. Sirius said he didn't care but I think he was trying to convince himself. He wasn't use to rejection, that much was obvious. I don't think he cared so much about the girl, it was just the way she could so easily move on.I heard a rumor that she used him. For what I never heard. I didn't share this but Sirius found out anyways. He was pissed. We all were pissed. We were the Marauder's, we did what we did best. Sweet sweet revenge.

We targeted the seventh year Hufflepuff girls. One night Sirius sat outside the Hufflepuff common room with the invisible clock on. As soon as he got the password he returned to The Room Of Requirements. There we planned the pranks of all pranks. Do you know what the sweetest part of this was? It was going to be on Annabel. She won't be able to say I never did anything for her after this.

"Potter, Black, Williams, Lupin and Pettigrew my office now!" McGonagall yelled. We smiled at each other proudly and followed her with dignity. Many people applauded, some booed, obviously they were in Hufflepuff. Did they have no sense of humor?

When we got to her office we sat down and just smiled at her innocently.

"Don't give me that look, you know what you did was wrong."I almost laughed.

"Was it McGonagall? I thought they deserved it," Sirius said, grinning. She sighed.

"Detention for a week and no Hogsmeade," She said getting to the point. The detention was fine but no Hogsmeade?

"That's not fair!" James yelled.

"It seems fair to me, now go to your classes."We left without a word.

"That prank was genius!" Someone said as we left her office.

"Thank you, ya know it's all in a days work…" Sirius said. We laughed, almost forgetting our punishment.We took our punishments and somehow still managed to get additional detentions as well. Hufflepuff's would glare at us whenever they passed us. We ignored them and talked about their immaturity.I now understood that look Annabel was giving me. She knew, of course she did. She was probably the master mind of the plan. Well it did backfire on them so I'm thinking they may regret it. She was now giving me that hateful look again. Thank God.

As the week went on something was stirring in the Hufflepuff's minds. James was the first to suggest it, then we all paid attention. We saw how secretive they were being, especially the seventh year girls. I can imagine they'd want revenge. We figured it'd be before Christmas break so we waited.

Wednesday: nothing

Thursday: nothing

Friday was already half way gone and nothing was happening. A dead give away that something was going to happen was the look Annabel gave me. It was smug and devious. Hell was coming and it just might be in a bigger dose. We wouldn't want them to baby us anyways.We got sick of the waiting so we sent a letter to who we assumed was the leader. It was a letter challenging them to please hurry up and we sighed it The Marauder's. We were very disappointed to hear nothing back. I suggested that they chickened out but really they were waiting until we didn't see it coming and they'd hit us where it hurt. They had one advantage: Annabel. She use to know me, something's were still the same. She could hurt me.

The worst came Saturday morning. This was also the day of the Hogsmeade visit but that's besides the point. I was walking down for breakfast with the Marauders when I heard it.

"And then you know what he said?" Samantha's voice rang from inside a classroom. At this we stopped and quickly found a place to hide so they wouldn't see us.

"What?" Annabel's voice said quieter.

"He didn't want to lose his virginity to someone he barely even liked. Yes Sirius Black is a virgin."

"Does he believe in true love?"

"God yes, he started to talk about how he wanted to find someone he truly loved so it'd really be special." Her voice sounded disapproving.

"That's so sweet."

"No, it's not sweet. Sex isn't about love."

"Sam you know that's not true."

"Don't tell me what I know."

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…"

"Don't patronize me, Annabel."

"You are so touchy today! Sometimes I can't stand you.""

You know that's a lie." She paused and started again.

"You know what I've always found funny?"

"Hmm…" She sounded bored.

"Marie being friends with the Marauder's. Their like her only friends."

"What about Lily Evans?"

"Well she's dating James Potter so that's probably the only reason, I mean who in their right minds would want to be friends with that?" That sounded familiar. Oh yeah I had said something like that about her.

"Sam don't talk about my sister like that." Annabel almost sounded defensive.

"What do you think they do? I mean her and Remus have to be shagging. You know how they are. Maybe her and James are secretly doing the same thing." She giggled evilly.

"No, James has always been in love with Lily, everyone knows that."

"They could act around everyone else."

"Whatever Sam…"

"Annabel do you not agree with any of this?"

"What does it matter? You'd get after me anyways."

"And you tell me I'm being touchy." Annabel remained quiet.

"You know Remus could do better. I know about 5 girls who like him. Maybe I could set them up. Maybe Sirius is secretly in love with Marie, maybe they fight over her."

"I'm sure…"

"Not that that would make any sense. I mean look at her! I can't believe you're even related. You're way prettier, not that she's pretty."

"Don't."

"You know it's true. Look in the mirror. Anyways I don't see how or why they even continue to be her friend. They'd be better off without her."

"Maybe they like her."

"Maybe she's just a good shag."

"There's more to life than sex!" Annabel yelled.

"Nu ah. That's the only way to live."

"God you're so…"

"Right? I know. Maybe Marie does a bunch of kinky stuff. You know with whip cream and hand cuffs."

"Can we stop talking about this?" At least she's fighting for me. Kind of.

"No, I like this conversation." Annabel sighed.

"Maybe…" I couldn't take it anymore.

I opened the door and walked away. Tears were threatening to come. I completely ignored my friends pleas and locked the door to The Room Of Requirements. I stayed there all day, crying my eyes out. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I wanted to just die right there. Please kill me now.I knew I was ugly, I didn't need people telling me this but it hurt none the less. How could someone who didn't even know me hate me so much? What did I ever do? The sorting hat made the mistake, not me but I keep getting fucked because of it. If there is a God in this world he hates me. Hell did come, just in a bigger does than I anticipated.


	15. Breakdown

I didn't speak to anyone until Monday. I was not going to miss classes over this, no matter how terrible I looked and felt. When I walked into the Great Hall I felt a lot of eyes on me. I ignored them and took a seat at the end of the table. I didn't eat anything. I just stared, determined not to show any emotions. The Hufflepuff's must not know they won.

I ignored anything that seemed directed to me. I left when everyone else did, to appear as if I was ok. I felt like crying. I even thought about that time Annabel cut herself, did it help? Would it help me now? I slapped myself silly mentally at that thought. I was not hurt myself, I wasn't that weak.I know my friends would be trying to help me right now but I didn't want to talk to anyone but I did want to at the same time. I wanted to complain about what that damn sorting hat has done to me. I was in a weird mood, I was angry, I just needed to say something.

So you know what I did? At the time I thought it was the stupidities thing I could do but it did help. What I did was write a letter to my mother. Yes that's right I finally got enough strength to write it all down. That I did and I was surprised how much time had passed by the time I was done. I was almost going to be late for Charms but I chose to skip it for I had something important to do. I read over the letter, making sure it sounded right and then went to the Owlery.

After I gave it to my owl I just sat up there for a while, just thinking about what I said. I wondered how my mother would react. Would it make things better or worse? Would she kick me out of her house and leave me homeless?

My thoughts were suddenly disturbed by someone entering the Owlery. I almost jumped but stopped myself. I looked up and saw a fellow Slytherin, not really fellow but ok. He sneered at me in his usual manor.

"Hello Marie, skipping class I see," Lucius Malfoy said in a mocking tone. I would have been tempted to do something other than sit there if it weren't for my current mood. I just looked away, as if he wasn't there. He obviously didn't like this because suddenly he was right there in front of me. He sneered again and then slapped my face. I got up quickly and glared at him. I was tempted to hit him as well but resisted.

"You know what? I don't care! I won't worship the ground you walk on, ok? I'm not like that and I won't tolerate being treated so badly so just leave me the fuck alone," I told him and ran from the Owlerly. I didn't realize he came after me until he grabbed my arm. I slapped his face as hard as I could and he stepped away quickly.

"You bitch!" He yelled. I just rolled my eyes and ran away. This time he didn't follow, thank God. I might have been tempted to slap him again.

I ran until I reached the school, then I slowed to a quick walk. I wasn't sure of the time but I hoped I would catch one of the Marauders before they went to lunch. By the time I got close to any of their classes the halls were already almost empty. I obviously just made it. I searched the crowd for one of the faces I wanted to see. I just needed to talk to someone. I didn't care who, as long as they let me talk. Remus would be perfect for this. I needed Remus. I finally caught sight of his back. \I ran toward him and finally caught up. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty hall. He looked surprised at first but when he caught sight of my face he relaxed.

"What are you doing Marie?" He asked. I looked at his face for a second but decided I couldn't face him right now. I looked down at my feet and opened my mouth to speak.

"Are you ok?"

"It's just that…" We spoke at the same time. I looked up at him and we smiled sheepishly at each other.

"Go on," He said gently, casually slipping his hand in mine. I smiled down at our hands for a second and then looked up at his face. I saw concern in his eyes. I suppose he had good reason to be, I must be acting weird. I wanted to sit down so I pulled him down with me until we were both sitting on the floor. We looked at each other right in the eyes.For a minute I lost myself in his eyes but slapped myself mentally. I regained my composure and started to talk.

It seemed like a lot of meaningless details but Remus didn't seem to mind. He just nodded his head, not interrupting. That's what I loved about him: He was a good listener and almost always had good advice. Him holding my hand was also very helpful I might add.It seemed like hours until I was done but I just needed to get everything out. If this were Sirius he'd stop me half way through and tell me to talk to him later. He didn't have much patience for serious kind of stuff, that is kind of ironic though, considering his name is Sirius. James would probably laugh at the Lucius part and Remus, well he just smiled and nodded. Not in I'm-not-really-interested-but-ok kind of way but in the kind of way that meant he genuinely cared and was listening.

When I was done I just looked at him, not expecting anything really. I didn't want pity and he knew it. Instead of saying something like, "Oh I'm so sorry Marie" he smiled and said, "Do you feel better now?" I smiled, that was my answer. I didn't want to talk anymore. I've done far to much for one day. He understood this, I think he'd understand almost anything actually. It's not as if I was like an open book or anything he just really knew me. I have known him for 6 years, that might explain it.

He let go of my hand, causing me to feel instant emptiness, but it was replaced by his arms wrapping his arms around me. I did the same and brought him closer to me. I closed my eyes, just taking in his scent. When I opened my eyes his head was level with me and surprising close. I smiled shyly, being insecure all of a sudden. He didn't seem to notice though, he seemed to be concentrating on something else. I was about to push him away when he leaned closer, I was shocked when his lips gently touched mine. He pulled away quickly and I swear I saw him blush a little.

I couldn't help but smile though, I wanted him right there. I wanted him to kiss me, really kiss me, in this hall away from the rest of the world.Something possessed me I think, something gave me strength because I took my hand to his face and turned it back to me. I leaned in closer to him and our lips met, it was a real kiss this time. I was surprised at how sweet it was. His lips were soft and warm, they felt nice against mine. His arms circled my waist and I brought my other hand to his hair. He gently pushed me against the wall, deepening the kiss.

It was bliss, truly. I could have stayed there forever but I had to come up for air.Remus must have been thinking the same thing because he pulled away suddenly but stayed close. He looked at me, smiling stupidly. I was probably doing the same thing but at that moment I didn't care. When his lips returned to mine I reacted instantly, taking in everything but our surroundings. He pulled his body closer to mine, if that was even possible at this point. My hands started to run down his back almost subconsciously. He sighed into the kiss. I parted my lips slightly and ran my tongue against his lower lip. He let me and we explored every aspect of each others mouths. All to soon though, he pulled back, but gave me a quick kiss on my lips, and sat back against the wall, catching his breathe. I knew the feeling. I looked at him and him alone. He had a glow to him, his eyes were bright. I was impressed I could have that effect on someone. Finally he turned his eyes to mine and he smile a big smile, it definitely reached his eyes. I smiled back. I felt as if I could fly.

"I love you," He said quietly. I grabbed his hand quickly, feeling instantly warmer. His fingers caressed my skin.

"I love you too," I said with a huge smile, "and that was amazing, you're amazing,"

"So are you," He pulled my hand up and kissed it, kind of like in the old movies, "And you're beautiful."

I blushed at the last part. I wasn't beautiful. My sister was. There was no comparison but he could believe what he wanted.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"No. Annabel is beautiful, I'm not," I said quietly and looked away.

"She's just beautiful in a different way, Marie. You must understand that." I continued to stare at the ground. It's amazing how something so little can ruin my mood.I felt Remus get up and pull at my arm, I forced myself to look at him. He looked as if he was pained to see me like this, he probably was. I didn't want to make him feel any worse so I pulled myself up, on the way I almost lost my balance and fell against his chest. He lifted my head up. He was trying to get me to look at him, it appeared I had no choice. I got lost in his eyes again, I was barely aware that he leaned in closer until his lips touched mine ever so softly. I barely had time to kiss him back before he pulled away. I felt some lose from that. The look on his face told me that's what he wanted. He already knew what he could do to me, was I that transparent?

"You're beautiful," He repeated and then whispered into my ear, "You're one of the most beautiful people I know, please trust me when I say that." I couldn't help but smile. He made me feel good, beautiful even. I wasn't sure if I should tell him that. He might get cocky, not that he'd ever get a big head. He's not like that, he's just…Remus. Perfect, smart, handsome Remus.


	16. Found Out

"There you are!" A voice suddenly said. It was James. James ruined it. Remus pulled away from me, his eyes questioning me. I wasn't sure what he was asking. He looked sad for a moment and then dropped my hand. I had almost forgotten he was holding it.

"Where were you?" Another voice asked. Sirius.Remus recovered faster than me.

"We were just talking because we both were not hungry. Sorry we didn't tell you."

"Yeah you missed out on a good time," I said before I realized it. Remus gave me a small smile and I blushed like mad.

"Cotton why are you blushing?" Sirius asked intrigued.

"I'm…" I start to say but Remus rescues me yet again.

"Inside joke, maybe I'll fill you in later," He said with a smile."If it makes her blush it must be good," James said, looking amused. It's true, I rarely blushed but I had my moments. Such as what just happened. Not that that was bad, it was just the opposite of bad. It was wonderful. It was beautiful. It was perfect.

I didn't have a chance to get Remus alone until the next day, after supper. We kept giving each other these stupidly happy kind of looks. I don't think I ever smiled more in a day or wanted anything more. I felt I was going crazy but luckily we could sneak some holding hands at meals. I was content then. His hands were so warm and felt good against my skin.

I went to The Room Of Requirements with the Marauders after supper. After an hour or so James and Sirius told us "they had something to do". It probably involved Snape if I knew them, which I did of course. Peter was to busy listening to music to notice Remus and I look at each other, smiling. We both were waiting for Peter to leave, he had to leave at some point. He wasn't the type to like to stay up late. It was weird but I was glad for that at that moment.At 11 p.m. he did leave.

The moment he was gone I got up and sat on Remus' lap. I smiled a big smile at him. He returned it quickly and put his arm around my waist. I leaned against his chest and looked up at him with glowing eyes. How I loved being there at that moment.

"Cotton?" He said softly.

"Hmmm?" was all I could say.

"I…"I pulled away from his chest and looked at him.

"Yes Remy?"

"I just can't believe how much I missed you even though I've seen you all day."I smiled.

"I know the feeling."I took his free hand and intertwined it with mine, in process not looking away from him. His hand softly brushed my cheek. That little touch gave me goosebumps, I don't know why, but I closed my eyes. I felt him shift under me and then his breathe on my lips. I anticipated his kiss again. Then there it was. It was gentle at first, just like the first time but then it got deeper and deeper until I got lost in it. He moved me off his lap and laid onto the couch somehow during this. I vaguely aware of him above me as his lips travels from my lips to my neck. I let out an involuntary moan. He didn't pause though. Eventually he returned to my lips.It was heated, filled with want and need. I gave in to it, trying to show all my emotions without saying a word. He was so close yet I wanted to pull him closer. His hands explored my body and somehow ended up under my shirt. I shivered from the touch, as if I could have been cold. I never was more warm. I'm not sure how much time went by but honestly I didn't care.

When he pulled away he fell onto the couch right next to me. Both of us were breathing hard again.

"How did you get so good at that?" I asked him.

"I could ask you the same thing," He said, grabbing my waist again and bringing me closer. Our foreheads touched and we just stared at each other.

"Have you had many girlfriends?" He laughed and said,

"Maybe 2 or 3, I don't have much experience with relationships."

"Neither do I.""I can't see why someone wouldn't want to know you." I only smiled. I didn't deserve this. He stroked my cheek again with his hand.

"What are you to me now?" I asked out of nowhere. He pulled his hand away and grabbed my hand.

"What do you want me to be?" He asked with a slight twinkle in his eyes. Here he was leaving it up to me, but I knew what I wanted. It might be weird though considering we've been friends for so long. Although he always seems to be there when I need him most. I don't know how he does it but it's amazing. He's amazing.

"No, I think it's more what you want," I said, smirking. I was hoping he'd say what I was thinking.

"You know what I want," His voice sounded a little rough. So he was thinking the same thing. I couldn't help but feel relieved.

"What would James and Sirius think?"

"Does it matter?" He had a point, why was I even thinking of them right now anyways?

"Yeah it doesn't. You're right."

"We should go, it's late," He said suddenly and sat up. I groaned and stayed where I was. I was not about to move. It was to comfy here. He smiled at me amused and tried to pick me up but I held on to the couch.

"Nooo!" I said into the couch. I felt the couch move and then heard him walk over to me. He looked at me with that same smile but I hide behind my hair so I couldn't see him.

"You're so difficult but I still love you," He said into my ear.

"Shut up."He moved my hair back and kissed my neck.

"Ok fine let's go," I got up quickly. He chuckled and stood up as well. He walked me back to my common room in silence. When we got to the portrait I stopped and turned toward him.

"So did we even come up with what you were?" I asked, not entirely sure.

"Mmhmm. Remember I told you, you already knew," He said smiling mysteriously.

"Ok just checking. You know I've never had a boyfriend before."

"That's not true, now you do."

"I said before now Moony." He laughed.

"Why aren't you testy tonight,"

"I don't know why actually," I smiled innocently.

"Ok. Goodnight,""Goodnight."I gave him a quick goodnight kiss.

"Goodnight," I called when he left. I think I heard him laugh.Oh how interesting life can be but this change was good, especially for me.

"So what did you and Moony do last night?" Sirius asked me at breakfast. I just shrugged, I wasn't sure if Remus said anything about us to them last night. When he didn't say anything I looked up at him. He was wearing this knowing smile.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I'm sure you remember what you and Moony did last night. I mean he does, although he didn't give me any details, but he was smiling like crazy. I thought maybe he was drunk or something."

"Hmmm," I said, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Is there anything me and Prongs need to know, Cotton?" He was suspicious. Oh God were we that obvious? I guess it won't matter once everything knows though but still. I hate feeling transparent. My sister, way back when, always told me I was easy to read.

"Well maybe," I confessed honestly. He'd find out eventually so why not tell him now?

"And that would be…" I smiled at his impatience.

"Well," I started to say but suddenly someone covered my eyes. Sirius laughed.

"Guess who," They said. Of course it was Remus.

"What are you doing Moony?"

"Nothing…yet," He said and then sat next to me.

"Good morning," and he took my hand that was sitting on the table.

"Good morning," I said feeling slightly dazed but caught myself before I gave it away.

"So are you going to tell me or not?" Sirius asked. He obviously was blind. He, of all people, would understand what holding hands meant.

"What is he talking about?" Remus asked, looking confused. I gave him a look that he recognized right away. He smiled.

"Well Padfoot darling, I'm sorry to say I'm not single anymore, sorry. So find someone else to practice your gay tendencies on," He said, with a serious look on his face. Both me and Sirius burst out laughing.

"That's great Moony darling but I'm not ga…wait did you say you weren't single anymore?" He said, looking alarmed. He nodded, smiling at me. This was very amusing. Sirius looked from me and Remus and then shook his head.

"I should have known, you've liked each other for forever."

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused, yet again. That must be the theme today.

"I don't know, just the way you act around each other. Now if you excuse me I'm going to eat some food." He turned his attention back to his plate and piled it up with a bunch of different food.

James' reaction was much like Sirius', Peter seemed surprised but accepted the change. We started to walk around much like any other couple would and we got a few surprised looks. After a while didn't even seem to faze them. It was amazing really how easily we moved forward into this relationship, I was thinking it'd be hard but I suppose Sirius was right. We did act differently around each other, even before. I guess I never paid enough attention to notice. It was just normal for him to be there.


	17. I'm Sorry

this chapters pretty important, enjoy it.

It was about a week later when something happened that would change my life. I was late for McGonagall's class so she gave me detention. I had to clear the trophies without magic. That was pretty easy, I've done that plenty of times. I found it rather useless though because really what use are trophies? They just sit there and collect dust.

Anyways those two hours passed pretty fast. When I left I saw Annabel in the hall nearby. It looked as if she was practicing a speech or something. I ignored her and walked the opposite direction. She must have heard me though because next thing I know she corned me. She looked determined, as if she had something to say. I tried to get away but she wouldn't let me.

"Please Marie, just listen," She practically begged. I glared at her and stayed put. I'd listen and then run away, yes that's what I'll do. Not that I have a choice.She took a deep breathe and began.

"I'm really sorry about what has happened the past few years but you have to understand why I did it. It wasn't because I hated you or that I truly believed that you would become one of them but it was mother. She told me to hate you and you know how she is. I didn't want to disappoint her so I went along with it, after a while it was easy but I struggled at first. You have no idea how many times I wanted to talk to you or comfort you when you looked sad."

"So you'd rather listen to mother than tell your sister the truth? Might I add she is your only sister and you know what? I'm only sad because of you and our messed family. Oh excuse me your family. If you truly cared for me you wouldn't have listened to her and why are you talking to me now? I thought you weren't allowed? Did mother send you a letter giving you permission?" The look on her face told me yes, yes mother did send her a letter. How pathetic. I can't believe I use to look up to this girl.

"Oh you poor baby! Do you need to have your mother tell you what to do all the time? I thought you were 17, not 7 but then again she always did baby you. You were her "perfect daughter". You wouldn't want to lose that title would you? You are so pathetic Annabel." She looked as if she was going to cry but I think she was holding back. She wanted to appear stronger than she really was. For me. She was actually doing something for her sister. She hasn't done that in years. What did Annabel want from me? There had to be a catch.

"Marie I love you, I've always loved you but you're right. You are so right and I feel horrible. I was afraid and that's a stupid reason to have done what I did. It's just I was hoping we could make up. Mother said she wants you to come home for Christmas to talk. She cried when she read your letter Marie and she feels bad. No more than bad, she regrets the past few years but knows she can't take them back. So please will you come home for Christmas? I'll apologize a million more times just to make it up to you. I am so sorry."

So my letter to mother did help. I wasn't expecting this though, what was going on with the world? It was so messed up right now. I couldn't believe a word of this, she already ruined any trust I had in her. I wouldn't listen anymore. I refused. It was all just a bunch of bullshit anyways, a complete waste of my time.

"I'm sorry, I can't believe your sorry. You wait 6 years, 6 fucking years to tell me this? You could have told me this 6 years ago, then I would have believed you but I'm sorry I can't now. It's to late, the damage is done. You're no sister of mine and your mother is not mine. I won't go to your home for Christmas because it would just be like any other year. I'd just be the visitor and you'd be the daughter. Besides I already have to deal with that crap during the summer, I don't think I could endure it the whole Christmas break," I told her bitterly. She looked as if she'd be slapped, I almost laughed at her right there. Annabel wouldn't understand, she has always been on the inside unlike me. She didn't know the life I have lived.

"But Marie…" She started to say but I cut her off.

"Please save the begging and pleading for someone who will listen. You already have the perfect life, why add a flaw to it? That would be tragically for you, wouldn't it? But guess what Annabel, life isn't perfect for most people. It can be pretty sad actually with all the imperfections but at least normal people don't expect everything to just work out. What did you think dear sister, that I would welcome you with open arms? Do you really think I am that forgiving? Have you forgotten what I am really like? We were best friends years ago, you knew me, but not anymore. All you know is what you can see on the outside."

"My life is not perfect! You have no idea what you're talking about," She snapped.

"Oh? Try me. You have beauty, a good family, you're smart, you have an "amazing boyfriend", lots of friends, a home. What am I missing?" I snapped back.

"You're beautiful, too and you're more smart than me! You have book smart, that's better and as for a good family…yes I may have that but I don't have my sister and I'd want her more than anything."

I smiled suddenly, thinking of a good comeback."That's just sick, why would you want your sister?"I started to laugh but Annabel looked serious. A hurt expression came over her face.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. What happened to you Marie?"

"You don't know me, don't try to sound as if you do. Are you surprised to see I have changed?"

"If I told you the truth you'd only laugh at me. The Marie I knew would take the time to listen."

"The Marie you knew was gone the day you left her to fend for herself. What did you think? That'd I'd forever stay the same and always be there no matter? I have learned my lesson ok, I can't expect people to be there, at least family. My friend have stuck with me through and through and that's all I need." She was crying now, tears were running down her face, making her mascara run. She was leaning against the wall for support and looked as if she was going to faint. I didn't help her though, she could take care of herself. I just frowned at the pitiful sight of her and turned around to walk away.

"Wait, please," She said in a near whisper. I was surprised I even heard it. I turned back around and looked at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just want you to know that I love you, I always will," She said and hugged me tightly. I couldn't bring myself to hug her back or push her away so I just stood there. She finally pulled away and wiped away her tears.

"Goodbye," She said, she almost smiled too. I only nodded and went back in the direction I was going to go. When I got around the corner I stopped and looked back at her. She was still standing there and I could hear her crying. I felt sorry for her but I couldn't forgive her. Not after what she did."I love you, too," I said in a whisper and walked away, never to look back again.


	18. Regrets

I went to the kitchen that night and the elf's gave me fire whiskey. I hugged a few of them, I think I surprised them. I suppose people didn't normally hug them. Poor elf's, hugs are good for you. I took the bottles to The Room Of Requirements and drank my sorrows away all by myself.

I must have passed out because next thing I know I woke up to voices close to me.

"Do you know what happened Moony?"

"No, I haven't seen her since dinner."

"Maybe it was the detention."

"No, I don't think so."

"It had to be something else."

"I saw Annabel a while ago, she looked as if she'd be crying for a while."

"Maybe it was because of her boyfriend."

"Why?"

"I heard they broke up or something."  
"Oh."

"What I don't get is why would she wouldn't come get us before she got drunk."

"Maybe she needed time by herself."

"I hope she'll be ok.""She'll have a killer hang over for sure."

I needed to move, I needed to do something. I tried to open my eyes, for some reason it was hard for me. I finally saw the light, that's all I saw. It was a bright light and it nearly killed me to look at. I must have groaned or something because suddenly the voices were talking directly to me.

"Marie, are you ok?" One of the voices asked. I knew that voice. Was it James? I couldn't tell.

"Cotton, what happened?" Another voice asked. The voices, Oh God they were loud! They were they yelling?

"Stop yelling!" I said and turned away from where I thought they were. My face hit something hard. I think it was the couch. Whatever it was, it hurt. I rubbed my face.The voices now spoke at regular tones, but to each other. Didn't they realize I could hear them? They were talking about me. Using words such as 'out of it' and 'hurting'. I couldn't make any sense of it. I just wanted to crawl up in my bed and sleep forever. Then I'd never have to see Annabel again. Wait something happened with Annabel, what was it? I couldn't remember. Besides thinking caused pain right now.

Where was Remus? I needed Remus. He was always there at times like this, why wasn't he now? I must have said his name because next thing I know his voice was right by my ear.

"I'm right here, love," He said in a low voice.

"It hurts," I managed to say.

"I know, lets get you out of here," His voice was calm and comforting. I must have agreed because next thing I know two people are helping me walk. I probably blacked out again because I woke up on a bed. I looked around, unsure of where I was. I saw clothes on the floor. Yep this was the Marauder's dorm. It was always a mess there, after all they are boys.I stretched out and found this bed to be very comforting. I wondered who's bed it was for about a second and then the thought went away when I saw a piece of paper on the pillow next to me. I stared at it dumbly for a minute and then picked it up. I had to hold it close to me because it all seemed like a blur of words. It read: Marie,

How's your head? I hope your feeling better than you were this morning. You really shouldn't have done that by yourself, it's not good for you. Sleep it off, ok? We'll be back in a few hours. Maybe we will be able to get something from the hospital wing to make you feel better. I'm sorry for whatever happened.

I love you,

Remus

I smiled to myself when I was done reading. Remus was to kind to me. I laid back on the pillow and closed my eyes, trying to remember what happened before the fire whiskey came into the picture. Something to do with Annabel. Then it hit me. Oh God I said all those things to her! I must have hurt her. How could I have done that?Then I remembered why I said it but I still felt bad. I just left her alone in that hall. I didn't even try to help. I was truly a terrible person. What if she never forgave me?

Why should I want her to though! I haven't even forgiven her but I couldn't hold a grudge forever…right? Maybe I could, I could run away and never return. Maybe this summer I could ask someone if I could stay with them and then after I graduate I could get my own place.

But she apologized and sounded like she meant it. Wouldn't she be disappointed if I never came back? After all she does graduated this year. I'd never see her again, unless it was all by chance.

But words could be lies, I'd never know if it was the truth but what if by chance it was the truth? I know deep down I still love her, I probably always will, mostly because of what a joy she made my childhood. There's also the sister factor, aren't you expected to love your sister? That's what I've heard, not that my family is a good example of that. I don't even have my mother's love.I wonder if it'd be different if dad was still alive. He was always a family person. He didn't want the bond to stray so he practically forced us to spend time together. Not that any of us minded at the time. We all loved each other and I wasn't a disappointment.I wish I could go back. Maybe I should have told the sorting hat I didn't want to be in Slytherin. True at the time I wanted to be anywhere but Hufflepuff but that was until I saw Annabel's face; so shocked and full of fear. If only…

I drifted to sleep at some point. I had a wonderful dream about what could have been. I was awoken by someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw all of the Marauder's there. I smiled relieved and sat up.


	19. Relief

the last chapter...tell me what you think of this story after you read this, k? I'd love to know

I drifted to sleep at some point. I had a wonderful dream about what could have been. I was awoken by someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw all of the Marauder's there. I smiled relieved and sat up.

"How's your head?" James' asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Better."Remus handed me a cup. I eyed it suspiciously. What was it? Was he trying to poison me? No he wouldn't do that. He laughed.

\"Just drink it, it'll help." I sighed and gave in. I was surprised to instantly feel better.

"Thank you,"

"Your welcome," He said and sat next to me. They all were looking at me. I almost wanted to tell them to stop.

"What happened?" Peter asked, breaking the silence. They were looking at me curiously. I grabbed Remus' hand for support and just started to talk. I talked about the detention and then got a little vague when Annabel came in. I just talked and it felt nice. I believe it's called relief.

It was our free hour and I sneaked into the Gryffindor common room. Well not actually sneak since I walked in pretty freely. Anyways I was sitting on the couch with Remus holding my hand. We were talking in low voices and I kept laughing. Sirius was making gagging sounds, as if it made him sick. I think he was just kidding around so I gave him a small smile. James' was off to who knows where, but showed up about an hour later. For once he was without Lily.

"Remus Ann…" He started to say but Remus cut him off.

"I know," He said quickly and got up, letting go of my hand. He whispered something to James and he nodded. He left without saying goodbye. I stared at James suspiciously.

"What?" He asked but he looked guilty.

"What's going on?"

"No..nothing," He stuttered.

"Wait James tell me," Sirius said, looking just as confused. James came over to him and whispered something. It seemed to take forever, I swear. Sirius smiled and laughed.

"That's genius!"

"What's going on idiots?" I demanded, getting annoyed. They just smiled at me and sat on both sides of me.

"So dear Cotton tell us a story," Sirius said.

"Um what about?"

"The cat and the wolf, of course," James said as if it was obvious. I blushed. Oh they wanted _that_ story.

"Oh it's that good huh," James nudged me.

"It's kind of personal," I admitted.

"And we're your friends," Sirius pointed out. As if that made everything ok to say. Sirius would only make it a joke, I knew him but maybe I'll tell them if they give me what I want…

"I'll only tell you if you tell me what Remus is up to."

"He's just…" James said, it looked as if he was searching for the right words. He was definitely trying to hide something.

"Tutoring someone," Sirius finished.

"Yes, just some Slytherin." I threw a glare at him.

"Yeah she paid him and it's kind of a secret but he told us."

"Ok," I said and got up.I made my way to the portrait but they stopped me.

"Wait where's your story?" James called, shocked.

"I never promised you anything," I said smiling evilly and left.

I went back to my dorm and closed the curtains. I Just sat there staring at the ceiling until I heard a noise. I opened the curtain and saw an owl outside the widow. I opened the window and it flew right at me. It was holding a letter. I thought maybe it'd be from Sirius or James but when I saw the hand writing my mouth dropped. It was from my mother.I couldn't bring myself to read it. I wasn't ready. Why was she writing to me? Did Annabel tell her what I said? I just stared at the letter as I sat on my bed. I knew I was missing dinner but I had lost my appetite. I never opened it that night.

The next day I got a note from James and Sirius asking me to meet them at The Room Of Requirements after lunch. It was a more free day today so I went since I had time. When I was about to walk in I heard a familiar voice. Annabel? Why was she here?

"Remus she hates me, she won't listen," She sounded so sad.

"She will," Remus assured her. Not a chance, she has nothing to say that will interest me.

"No, you didn't hear her. She was so serious."

"Well she didn't say much about it but I think if you just talk civilly things will work out." He has hung out with Lily to much. That totally sounded like her.

"Fine."

I waited a minute and then walked in, pretending to be surprised to see her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked acidly.

"I'm not here to fight," She said in a quiet voice. I ignored this and turned my attention to Remus.

"Why did you do this Moony? Why?" I demanded. He looked pale. Was there a full moon soon or was he just scared?

"Because you need this," He said and left. I called after him but he didn't stop. I heard him say some spell. Annabel did to because she looked at me, almost smiling.

"Well it looks as if we're stuck here, dear sister."

"I told you already, you aren't my sister." I suddenly didn't care if I hurt her. I wasn't ready for this.

"Let's not fight, ok? Why do you hate me?" She looked desperate, as if she needed this. Needed me. She didn't need me though, she's been fine without me but where did she get the idea that I _hated_ her. I never said it, well yesterday yes I did, she said my first year at Hogwarts. I didn't abandon her, she abandoned me. She hated me…didn't she?

"Hate you? I don't hate you Annabel. I love you but there's no room in my heart for forgiving you," I told her honestly. She deserved nothing more.

"How about someday?" This question surprised me. Did she not want instant forgiveness?

"What do you mean?"

"I just thought maybe you could someday…"

"Do you ever think of anything but yourself?" I was suddenly furious.

"Yes, all the time! Right now I'm thinking of you and your welfare." She looked offended. God she still had to play the innocent even though I could see through it. She was transparent in my eyes.

"I don't need your charity. I've been fine without you."

"Marie, this isn't charity." The funny thing is it almost sounded as if she meant it.

"You know what? No, I refuse to give in to this!" I screamed and tried to open the door. It didn't open, of course. Remus did that locking spell but his plan backfired because I knew the reverse spell. I did it and ran for it.

I ran to the forest and that's where I sat for hours. I was deep in thought about…everything.I returned to the castle sometime early morning.

I went to the Marauder's dorm and crawled into Remus' bed. I must have woke him up in the process.

"What? Marie what are you doing here?" He asked.

"I don't want to sleep in my bed alone."

"You ran away, where did you go?"

"The forest."

"I was only trying to help."

"I know you meant well but I just can't."

"So you're not mad?" Not at you.

"No."He smiled and brought me closer to him. His lips gently caressed mine. I parted my lips to deepen the kiss but he pulled away and mumbled that he was to tired to kiss me properly. I smiled and leaned against his chest, wrapping my arms around him. He did the same to me. Eventually I felt his breathe get even. I pulled closer to him, trying to get warmth. I needed this love, this comfort so bad right now. That's how I fell into my slumber, listening to his heart, knowing that it belonged to me, too.

The world can be surprisingly cold but at least I have someone who loves me. That makes living worth it. That makes everything worth it.


End file.
